I open my eyes slowly, which is no easy task because of the harsh weight of my eyelids. They encase my eyes in warm, welcoming darkness, and their weight feels like a slap to the face, saying, “You are not getting up yet.” Unfortunately, in my mind, I am forced to reply, “Oh yes, I am,” and I more-then-reluctantly throw the sheets and blankets off of me, exposing my lethargic body to the algid air hovering above me like a predator. Immediately, my muscles tense at the change in temperature, and I mutter in my head, “Getting up will make you warmer,” so, after a moment, I slump to my feet.
Suddenly, I feel dizzy: as slow as I have gotten up, my brain must adjust to the vertical position that I have forced myself into. I wobble for a moment, but after a moment my head clears, and I wrench open my crusty eyes. The room appears to be dark, but I allow my eyes to adjust, and I realize… that the room really is dark. Even the sun has not awakened yet. I think to myself, looking at the clock (5:45 a.m.), “There ought to be a law.” Outside, snow has piled up on the windowsill, plunging my room into even further darkness. My freezing feet wiggle, longing for slippers.
Just then, my mother, not seeming any happier to be awake then I feel, pokes her head in and says, “Too much snow; no school.” My priceless moment has reached its climax, and inside my joy is expressed with cheers and shouts and confetti, but externally, I merely yawn and return to bed with a nod. The unbearable weight of my body leaves my feet as I lay back on my mattress and the body heat that I just left there hugs me. My groggy eyes find my covers and my nearly dead brain tells my hands to perform one final act before sleep returns, and that is to pull the covers over my body. My hands obey, and the sheets and blanket are gently thrown over my body once again. My muscles relax, the warmth encases me, and within seconds, the pain of even thinking this early leaves as I fall into the reprise of my slumber. This wonderful scene I have depicted happens on any snow day during the winter, and it is one of the most priceless moments I can think of.
In the warmer months, particularly when there is no school to wake me up so early in the morning, I enjoy afternoon rides on my bike, one of my most prized possessions. Although it may look like an ordinary mountain bike from someone else's view, to me, each feature of it stands out exceptionally. My bike is greener than the pine trees that I soar past while riding it, and it shines incredibly in the sunlight, blinding anyone who looks at it. It’s the perfect height for me, with a seat as black as night, strong enough to support me, yet soft enough so that I am comfortable while I ride (something that cannot be said for a lot of bike seats, as you may know). With it, I can travel anywhere I want to. I ride all up and down town, feeling the breeze on my face, taking in nature left and right.
I haven’t always had the bike that I own today. I started off owning a smaller bike, turqoise, and with training wheels. I received it on my 6th birthday, and I loved it for years. But when I was finally old enough to ride a two-wheel bike, I sold my little bike and bought a red mountain bike, much bigger than my old one, and I used that one for years. Then, just a few years ago, my dad surprised me with the spectacular green mountain bike, my prized bike that I own today.
In many ways, my priceless moment and my bike are very similar. They both allow me to travel, one physically, and the other, in my mind. With my bike I can ride around town, getting good exercise and seeing the sights, and while sleeping I can dream myself to places both nonexistent and fantastic at the same time. By the end of both a bikeride and being told to go back to bed, I am exhausted and ready to lie down again.
In the same way, my moment and item are very different. With one I can ride up a mountain, and with the other I can soar over a mountain. One I use whenever I’m up and ready for exercise, while the other occurrs when I’m ready to collapse from exhaustion, only to find that I can do so in my welcoming bed. My priceless moment will never occurr on a weekend because there is no school on any weekend, while I don’t tend to have time to ride my bike during the week. With one I am active and moving and full of energy, while in the other I am groggy, sluggish, and unwilling to move.
In conclusion, there really is no way to put a price on something or to efficiently evaluate something’s worth. Everything is worth different amounts to different people. My bike may be worth $100 to someone wanting to buy it at a tag sale in the future, but to me, right now, it’s worth much more than that because it allows me to get around to the places that I want to go. My moment that I described could never have a price put on it because it is the greatest feeling on this Earth to know that you can return to sleep when you want to so badly. Value and worth are such tricky concepts, but when something is very valuable, it is not so much that I intend to guess its price, but more that I will simply try to enjoy the qualities that make it so priceless.
6 comments:
I though your value essay was very good. I couldn’t find much that needed improvement. The only thing I though could use some help was your grammar. Otherwise it was good and I enjoyed it.
The author of this essay describes what is valuable in his opinion. He also mentions that just because certain things are valuable to him doesn’t mean they are valuable to anyone. He gives an example of one situation in that something is very valuable to one while not another. It depends what people expect because depending on what they expect then different things are worth different amounts.
The description of the snow day is the best of the two described. He was very elaborate with it. The description of his bike was short. I really liked the part when he mentioned that he opened his eyes and it was like a slap in the face because they were so heavy.
His strong point is his introduction. He mentions that something that is valuable to him may not be valuable to someone else. He explains four different situations in which water is worth something different. He has very good describing words and not typical ones you would see in a piece of writing.
One thing that could use some help is your grammar. It was a little hard to read because of that. Especially in the last sentence in your first paragraph. You also repeat the same information. For example: you say “I open my eyes slowly; my eyelids are so heavy that they almost will not open.” You repeat what you just said try saying something like “As I try to open my eyelids, they almost don’t open because they are so heavy.
Kyle,
I think that you are saying that your snow day mornings and your bike are you most valuable possesions. It seems like your mornings are more important because you describe it much more.
I think that my favorite quote in this essay was, "Even the sun has not awakened yet. I think to myself, looking at the clock (5:45 a.m.), “There ought to be a law.”" I think this is a really good quote because I think that most people think that in the morning and they just want to go to bed. I agree that there should be a law!!
I think that your essays strength was word choice and your introduction. you described everything really well and used a great amount of vocabulary. Your introduction was very intriguing. It was great how you showed that a simple bottle of water can have so much different value. I had never really looked at the bigger picture like that. Great Job!!!!
I think that what you should improve on is your descrbing your bike. i feel like you just rushed into the compare and contrast. It was a great read though!!! Keep writing!!!
Kyle, i was going to read your essay. but. its too long. i love you anyway though. im sure its good but im to lazy to read it all. lol
Kyle thinks that value is a very complex idea. It truly is hard to wrap your mind around it. Value is different to everyone as he explains. He gives the example of a bottle of water being completely different in value to a mother in a grocery store and a long distance runner. Kyle himself values a snow day when he thought that school would take place and his bike.
Kyle’s description of waking up on a snow day exceeds all other descriptions I have read. It uses very sophisticated language correctly that gives you almost an exact picture of what is happening. It is definitely the better of the two descriptions. It is, and yet the description of the bike is still one of the better ones that I have read.
A strong point in this essay is definitely the vocabulary. Throughout the essay Kyle uses descriptive words that go way past the normal ninth grade students’ abilities. He is surly talented in this area. He paints a perfect picture in your mind.
Kyle’s essay is next to perfect. I would only suggest one thing to him. It is that he go over his work and check for spelling and grammar errors. This is because I picked a few up as I was reading.
hi kyle... great essay, i liked mostly the way you could easily connect your two things.. as if they actually had something to do with one another. not that your excessive detail needs to be changed, but be careful that you son't bore your readers... not that you did!! but sometimes too much detail is too much altogether. but i really did like your essay. =)
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